Choices

  Life is all about choices.  Some are easy to make, like should I buy chunky or plain peanut butter, chunky, please.  But some choices are difficult and come with consequences that may or may not be positive, but for your mental health need to be made.  I came to a very difficult choice last night and it saddens me that it had to come to this, but for my well being it had to be done.  The choice I made was to let go of a certain situation in my life. Being a step mom is a very difficult position to be in, especially if you have children as well.  You basically, depending on when you became a step mom, have stepped in in the middle of the children being raised and have a set of ideas, morals and values that you instilled in your children that the other party may not agree or believe in at all.  So you naturally tend to "raise" your step children that way.  Well, when you get pushed so many times, you just get tired and finally realize you need to step away and let the other two parents deal with it. Which is hard as well because it effects me too.  This, I know will be difficult because you are basically raising kids in two different ways. For example,   I am a firm believer that kids who are of age(starting at 15) should work.  My son started working his freshman year of high school as an office clerk at the office where hubby and I work.  He works 3ish til 5 Monday through Friday and lots more during the summer.  He was given a car at 16 knowing he was responsible for gas and maintenance on the car.  This decision was made so he would learn how to budget, what it takes to have a car, and when you pay for your own gas, you won't drive all over creation wasting gas.  He is now a Senior and is doing wonderfully.  He has  a 3.6 GPA, plays soccer, volunteers, maintains an active social life, works, and his on target for securing some awesome college scholarships.  Imagine juggling all those things!  Wow, he must be a super hero.  Now, on the other hand, my step son was given a car on his 16th birthday in January.  Hubby and I paid for his car(just like Jake's) and we pay insurance on both.  And let me tell you, teenage boys are crazy expensive to pay for.  So most of our money goes to State Farm(love them) and Catholic High.  Hubby and I also pay  tuition for both boys(princess goes to public school until high school)  with a bit of help from Jake's dad for Jake.  So, I do not think asking the kids to work a part time job to pay for gas and extras is too much to ask.  Step son's mom does not agree with this.  For the record, hubby agrees with me.  Growing up he shared a car with his brothers and parents and did not even think the kids needed cars, but I explained they really need the freedom of a car to be able to learn responsibility.   How do you teach kids responsibility when they sit around and play video games all day and night?  So, my choice is to back off.  Whatever they figure out I will just learn to deal with it.  Now, how to explain this  to my son why his younger step brother gets to lay around all day while we just dole out money for his every whim is kind of lost on me at the moment, but I will figure out someway to explain it.  So, as the song goes, I am letting go and will learn how to deal with it.  It is nice when everyone can work together, but usually it's my way or the highway and I am tired of going down that particular highway so I am getting off.  Does this mean I will not support my step sons?  Of course not, but I am out of all the "discussions".   Just let me know what else I need to add to the budget because it always falls on us.  

   So another post with the tip of the day added in with the blog post.  Let go of situations and make the choices that need to be made whether they be the easy ones or the hard ones.  Just make sure you can live with the consequences of your choices.

Hugs!