Love, bonding, and other such things

  Happy Friday!  Yes, I know it is only Thursday, but it is my Friday in the work world.  We are leaving this afternoon for Dallas for a long weekend.  My nephew graduates Saturday morning so that is our main reason for going, of course.  If we happen to get some shopping in and a lovely tan by the pool so be it.  Princess is staying home because she has a busy cheer schedule and does not want to miss all the activities going on.  I have a fabulous house/pet sitter coming, gotta love friends, so it will just be me, hubby, my son and hubby's youngest.  The boys love their nephew so they are really looking forward to the trip.  They are staying separate from us, so I am not sure how much we will actually see of them, but they are all good kids, so I am not worried.  I love how my family has embraced my hubby and his kids.  It's like they have been a part of our lives forever and not just a little over 3 1/2 years.  I know it has to be awkward getting a whole new set of relatives you never even asked for, but I guess it prepares them for having in laws in the future.  My family is not terribly overwhelming so I think that has helped as well and I have a super cool family, so what's not to love. My hubby's parents and older brother have done the same.  They have embraced me and my kids as their own and I so appreciate it.  The younger brother and I are still working through some things.  It makes it a bit awkward when one of my very best friends is his ex wife and they do not get along too well, but we are trying to keep that part of our lives separate and make the most of it.   The same has happened on their dad's side as well. His wife's family has embraced my kids as their own as well and I really appreciate that.  It makes it so much easier when everyone can get along.  I know I keep saying this, but it really is.

  So, I forgot to mention what my awesome and romantic hubby did for me for our anniversary.  Besides the photo album and planning our re commitment ceremony, he left me poems to find throughout the weekend.  I would open a drawer and would find one.  Look in my purse and find another one.  It was wonderful.  He told me he hasn't written any poetry since college and has found his inspiration in me and has started writing again.  I know, roll eyes, gag, but I think it is very flattering and I love it.  He is so good at it.  One of my favorite's :
The Right Size

When you are barefoot and I hold you, your head is on my heart
When you're in heels and I hold you, I can look into your eyes
When you lay beside me and I hold you, we fit together perfectly

Our love is always the right size

I love it.  We always joke about him being 4 inches taller than me, but our legs are the exact same size, so this is very fitting for us.  Anyway, I just love and adore my sweet romantic husband.  Speaking of my wonderful hubby, when princess and I left the house this morning she usually just waves and tells us bye, but since we will not see each other til Sunday, I drove her to the bus stop so I could hug and kiss her and spend extra time with her.  Hubby had to get to work early, so he drove separate.  She waved bye to Mark and said wait a minute!  I need a hug, I am not going to see him for awhile.  She ran back in and ran down the hall to give him a hug, kiss and they exchanged I love yous and miss yous.  It makes my heart melt that they have bonded like this.  Now, princess has a great dad and they have a great relationship, so I am not discrediting his role at all, but I love how hubby and princess have bonded.  It is a wonderful thing.

  Rapid topic change!!!  Tip of the day:  Eat some cereal.  The good stuff, not fruit loops or sugar smacks.  Not that having fruit loops or sugar smacks every once in a while is bad for you, but eat the good cereal too.  Cheerios are wonderful for you.  They are chocked full of iron, calcium, Vitamin A and Vitamin C.  Another good cereal is Life.  I love cereal.  I eat it without milk, but add some milk to yours for added nutritional value.  Spend some time in the cereal aisle and rediscover an oldie but goodie.  Now, everything in modesty, please.  Cereal tends to be high in sodium, so watch your portion sizes.
Have a fabulous weekend and make sure you are kind.

  Hugs!!!
           

Choices

  Life is all about choices.  Some are easy to make, like should I buy chunky or plain peanut butter, chunky, please.  But some choices are difficult and come with consequences that may or may not be positive, but for your mental health need to be made.  I came to a very difficult choice last night and it saddens me that it had to come to this, but for my well being it had to be done.  The choice I made was to let go of a certain situation in my life. Being a step mom is a very difficult position to be in, especially if you have children as well.  You basically, depending on when you became a step mom, have stepped in in the middle of the children being raised and have a set of ideas, morals and values that you instilled in your children that the other party may not agree or believe in at all.  So you naturally tend to "raise" your step children that way.  Well, when you get pushed so many times, you just get tired and finally realize you need to step away and let the other two parents deal with it. Which is hard as well because it effects me too.  This, I know will be difficult because you are basically raising kids in two different ways. For example,   I am a firm believer that kids who are of age(starting at 15) should work.  My son started working his freshman year of high school as an office clerk at the office where hubby and I work.  He works 3ish til 5 Monday through Friday and lots more during the summer.  He was given a car at 16 knowing he was responsible for gas and maintenance on the car.  This decision was made so he would learn how to budget, what it takes to have a car, and when you pay for your own gas, you won't drive all over creation wasting gas.  He is now a Senior and is doing wonderfully.  He has  a 3.6 GPA, plays soccer, volunteers, maintains an active social life, works, and his on target for securing some awesome college scholarships.  Imagine juggling all those things!  Wow, he must be a super hero.  Now, on the other hand, my step son was given a car on his 16th birthday in January.  Hubby and I paid for his car(just like Jake's) and we pay insurance on both.  And let me tell you, teenage boys are crazy expensive to pay for.  So most of our money goes to State Farm(love them) and Catholic High.  Hubby and I also pay  tuition for both boys(princess goes to public school until high school)  with a bit of help from Jake's dad for Jake.  So, I do not think asking the kids to work a part time job to pay for gas and extras is too much to ask.  Step son's mom does not agree with this.  For the record, hubby agrees with me.  Growing up he shared a car with his brothers and parents and did not even think the kids needed cars, but I explained they really need the freedom of a car to be able to learn responsibility.   How do you teach kids responsibility when they sit around and play video games all day and night?  So, my choice is to back off.  Whatever they figure out I will just learn to deal with it.  Now, how to explain this  to my son why his younger step brother gets to lay around all day while we just dole out money for his every whim is kind of lost on me at the moment, but I will figure out someway to explain it.  So, as the song goes, I am letting go and will learn how to deal with it.  It is nice when everyone can work together, but usually it's my way or the highway and I am tired of going down that particular highway so I am getting off.  Does this mean I will not support my step sons?  Of course not, but I am out of all the "discussions".   Just let me know what else I need to add to the budget because it always falls on us.  

   So another post with the tip of the day added in with the blog post.  Let go of situations and make the choices that need to be made whether they be the easy ones or the hard ones.  Just make sure you can live with the consequences of your choices.

Hugs!

Memorial Day Weekend

  Happy Tuesday!  Yawn!  What a busy and amazing weekend.  I am still trying to recover.  Riverfest was fun, but a bit disappointing.  I loved Chicago.  They were a bit slow to get going, but once they did, wonderful!  It was fun going back to the 70's and 80's and there was dancing with the hubby and friends to go with it.  Sunday night we ended up with backstage passes at the Bud Light stage and were up close and personal with Hank Williams Jr himself.  Now, I am not a country fan, but I do appreciate a good show and I do admittedly like a few of his songs.  Hubby and I left in the middle and took princess and her friend to the "pit" to catch a few songs by The Fray.  I only say a few because they kinda all sound the same and I wanted to catch the end of Hank.  I know, where is Pat and what have you done with her.  Now, a couple of things I learned from Riverfest.  Teen girls need some fashion advice and modesty and teen boys need to learn how to use deodorant.  Seriously.  Also, my motto as always, just because you can wear it does not mean you should.  Yikes!  Look in the mirror before you go outside people, please!
  Saturday night my beautiful niece graduated from Maumelle High School.  She looked beautiful and it was the shortest graduation ceremony I have been to.  I am pretty sure it was under an hour.  I am so proud of her.  Graduating from high school is a major accomplishment. After the ceremony we took about a million pictures, really.  But, it was fun and she had a lot of  support there.
  Now for the highlight of the weekend.  Renewing our vows and lake time.  It could not have been more perfect.  Jody did a great job with the ceremony and Stephanie is the best scripture reader ever!  Mark bought me beautiful pink roses to carry, which Ellie held during the ceremony so she finally got her wish fulfilled of being our flower girl and Jake was one of the photographers/videographers.  Jody and Steph invited their friends Barb and Patrick and their two kids and also their friend David...all Subiaco peeps to go on the lake with us.  Well, Patrick happens to be the proud owner of JJ Kelly Bridal in Oklahoma. Yes, I had the matchmakers as well as a wedding planner with us!  He posed us and created a fabulous space for us to renew our vows.  How awesome was that.  He also videoed our ceremony and took great pictures for us.  It could not have gone any better.  So huge shout out to my wonderful friends, kids, and my new friends for helping make our day perfect.  The weather was great.  We had just enough cloud cover that we did not get sizzled and the water was chilly, but felt great.  I loved it!  Monday afternoon we had a cook out at the pool with all my Village peeps.  We have done a pretty good job of keeping up with each other during the year so there wasn't too much to catch up on.  In the great words of my friend K Hall's daughter, we should do this way more often, like every weekend.  I love all of us being together!  So do we, so do we.
  Today has been exhausting and frustrating.  I am dealing with some things I would rather not, but hey, that is life right?  My tip for the day is to try and deal with the aggravating things in your life quickly and move on.  I have a feeling this one will not go away as quick as I would like because some people just never grasp this concept.  I on the other hand, do not have time for it.  It takes up way too much negative space.  Keep it happy people!

Hugs



 

The story of us

  Two years ago this Sunday, the 25th of May, at 4:00 pm I married my forever person.  We have known each other since high school, his mom was one of my favorite teacher's in school, and through strange circumstances and fate we re met again almost 4 years ago and as the saying go, never looked back.  We had both come out of long term marriages with kids and were hesitant to start again.  I had resigned myself to living the rest of my life out as a single mom and was ok with that.  I learned I would rather be alone then be with the wrong person.  Plus, I had 2 amazing kids and it would be hard to find someone I would want in their lives as well as mine.  On that beautiful July day on Lake Ouachita it was love(lust) at first sight.  I knew he was joining us on the lake with his kids, I had Ellie with me, and thought, fun.  I remember him from high school and he was friends with my brother.  We got to the lake and ended up having to pick them up because the battery on their boat was dead and needed charging.  Well, when I saw him, my heart literally skipped a beat.  I have never had that happen to me.  I don't know what it was about him, sure he was super cute and sexy, but there was something else about him.  When we said hi to each other,  I felt the electricity.  I swear to you I am not making this up.  I kinda shrugged all this off and thought maybe I was just lonely.  We then started to talk and I definitely was feeling the spark.  We had a fabulous day playing with all the kids and then waved goodbye.  We then became facebook friends.  Sending inbox messages and chatting.  He was so funny.  We found out we were going through similar situations and had so many things in common.  One night while sitting at home I received a phone call.  It was from a number I did not recognize, but I answered it anyway.  He said hello and I said who is this?  And he answered Mark, Mark Francis and I was so surprised.  I asked him how he got my number and he said don't worry about it.  Well we ended up talking for a couple of hours and I swear I was smiling the whole time.  After a week or so we talked about going out, but wanted to make sure we were both ready.  He made plans, but I backed out.  I made plans, but he backed out.  Finally, on September 20th, we went out on our first date.  It was fantastic.  We went to the Pantry, ate yummy food and watched Monday night football.  We told each other we just wanted to be casual and not get serious.  Well, a month or so later, I was asked out by someone else.  I told Mark about it and he said I do not want you to go out with anyone else but me.  I agreed and we have been inseparable ever since.  I love him dearly and am so glad he is in my life as well as my kids.  He is my love, my best friend, my rock, my lover, and my soul mate.  He took the broken part of me and made it whole.  I love you, sweetheart!  Happy early Anniversary!

Hugs!!!!!

Graduation

  Don't you just love catching up with friends?  I talked with one of my friends(she is more like a sister) last night and it feels like therapy.  She vented, I vented, she lectured, I lectured, we got over it, we hugged and loved and it was all good.  Her daughter is graduating on Saturday and we(the friend) and I have a kinda of odd situation.  I met my friend way back in college while we were both working at Cajun's.  Great restaurant  go check it out!  Anyway, we connected right away and I adore her.  When I moved back in town, she was one of the first people I contacted and it was like we were never apart.  Well, my friend was married to my husband's younger brother, and things are not very amicable between them.  I feel like I got double bonus in this relationship though because one of my very dear friends is now technically an ex sister in law and her daughters are now my nieces by marriage-how cool is that!  So, I explained how I was feeling about who to sit with, my best friend or my hubby's family.  She said it did not matter to her and that she would be fine either way.  Now, when I talked to hubby about it, he said let's just not sit with anyone and then no one would get upset or they would both be pissed, and then who cares anyway.  So, I guess dilemma solved.  I wish everyone would just get along and then I would not be faced with these difficult situations.  But, people are sometimes crazy and do not know how to behave, so here we are.  I am excited for graduation though.  We are graduation full these next two weekends.  Saturday afternoon, my lifetime friends from junior high's son is graduating.  We are missing graduation, but are attending his luncheon celebration on Saturday.  I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished.  He is a true rock star.  Of course, Saturday night is niece's graduation.  Next weekend we are headed to Dallas to participate in my nephew's graduation festivities.  Now, you know the saying, everything is bigger in Texas?  Well that goes for graduation as well.  My bro and sis in law have reserved us a box for graduation.  Yes, I said a box.  As in what you do at concerts or football games.  Pretty fun and awesome if you ask me.  Apparently there will be snacks and drinks and who cares if it starts at 10.  It is 5 o'clock somewhere, right?  After graduation, they are throwing him a pool party at their house.  This should be awesome and the boys are very much looking forward to it.  Lots of celebrating to be had these upcoming weekends and I could not be more excited.

  Pool season starts this weekend.  I miss pool season.  I get to hang out with all my Village friends, play cards, eat, swim and all our kids get along.  It is fabulous.  My youngest stepson will be life guarding this summer at the pool so that will be great as well.    I love having friends who help to employ the off spring.

  Tip of the day:  wear sunscreen.  I am a sunbathing goddess, but I always try to wear sunscreen.  I would say try to keep sun exposure to a minimum, but I do not follow this, and I try to practice what I preach, so wear some sunscreen.  Your skin will thank you and you will not age as fast.

Have a great Thursday!

Hugs!

Get Happy

  Happy Hump Day!!!!  I have seen a lot of negativity floating around lately and not so much happy.  When did we become such a negative society.  I was having this discussion with my son yesterday because he throws out a lot of negativity.  I asked him to try being positive and complimentary every once in awhile and I bet he will see a difference in his outlook in life.  Now, he is by no means depressed, just negative.  So, why are we not happy?  I have been thinking on this for quite awhile, but am not coming up with any answers, besides the popular "Let it go" option.    So why are we negative?  Have we stopped thinking about all the good stuff in our lives?  Does the good news happen and we brush it aside because we have become so focused on the negative that we cannot let the good in?   Well, let's figure out how to be happy again!  Focus on the happy.  Make a list(I love lists) about what makes you happy.  I have a friend in Texas who is doing the 100 days of happy. You basically post a picture everyday of what makes you happy.  I look forward to her pics because, well, they are happy.  I probably will not do the 100 days because that is a huge commitment and I think I post enough happy things, so, really, I already participate.   But, maybe you negative Nellys need this.  I will start my list, just in case you need a reminder of what in your life makes you happy:
Hubby
Kids(all four)
Friends
Mom, Dad, and siblings
Summer
Beach
Happy Hour
Our Solstice
That we are all healthy
Out of the blue texts from friends
Being outside (when it is warm)
Coffee
Food
Family dinners
Flowers
Vacations
Love
Putting jeans the first day of fall
Cuddling
My animals
Pool
  Do I need to keep going?  I have so many more things.  Way more than sad.  But, like I said, let's focus on the happy.  What makes you smile and laugh?  Think about it and get back to me.  Or, keep it to yourself and bring it out when the negatives seem to overwhelm.  So come on and get Happy as the way overplayed song goes.

  Tip of the day and a blog post all in one.  That makes me happy too.  Get your glass half full and enjoy the rest of your Wednesday.  It is sunny and beautiful outside and my back yard is looking awesome!!!!

Hugs!!!!!

Time

  Time?  Where does it go?  It seems the older we get the faster it goes by.  Yesterday, my son brought home his high school year book.  He is wrapping up his junior year this week and this time next year we will be preparing for his high school graduation.  Yikes!  He wants a party with a Sushi chef, so if anyone has any ideas of where I can hire a Sushi chef, let me know.  I am having a hard time with grasping the concept that my baby boy is a senior in high school.  I mean, seriously.  I am tearing up  whenever the subject is brought up.  How in the world am I going to survive this next year and then send him off to college?  I sound like a big ole whiny baby I know, but I cannot help it.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I am so proud of the man he is becoming and the things he has/is accomplishing.  I am thrilled that he has worked hard and has the opportunity to be able to go off to college, but this is making mom sad.  I am also trying to grasp the concept that my little girl is not so little anymore.  Watching her dance on Friday night, confirmed the fact that she is definitely turning into quite the graceful young lady.  I had several people suggest we try out for ballet Arkansas.  Yes, we need another activity to add to her ever growing plate, but we might look into it.  Who knows?    Anyway, excuse me for being whiny, but I guess I have earned the right.

  Speaking of babies, one of my co workers is at the hospital right now waiting on another grandchild to be born!  It is one of  her son's first born, but he is already a step dad so he has this dad thing down.  It is so exciting.  I love babies!  It is awesome to see the nervousness and jitters from a first time parent.  I remember those feelings all too well.  But, to change topics, you do not need to be a parent to be a fulfilled adult.  I say this, because a friend of mine, who is childless, constantly gets asked when her and her husband are going to have a baby and if not why?  Seriously, this is really none of any one's business but theirs and why does it matter to anyone but them anyway?  And, why would you even ask why not?  Or when?  I could see if you were the mom, but random friends, people, etc?  Crazy.  Now I admit I am curious, some call it nosy, but I just ignore them, but I know when to curb my curiosity.  I love being a mom and step mom, but that does not mean everyone wants that path in life.  So, if you have friends or relatives who choose to not be a dad or mom, quit asking and know that it is none of your concern.

  So, hubby and I worked in the yard after work last night.  I have so many things I want to do inside and out that I was becoming overwhelmed.  There doesn't seem to be enough time to tackle them all, so yesterday I made a mental list of what needed to be done and decided to work on it a little at a time.  I did not share that list with hubby so when he came out last night and shaped up our out of control hedges I was overjoyed.  I did not ask and I love that.  It's wonderful that we can work together and help the other out without being asked. Some couples cannot work together and I am so glad we can.  So, I managed to get two things crossed off my list.  Accomplishment!!!  So now I have a cleaned off back patio area and beautiful hedges to look at.  I love being outside so I need to clean up my happy place.  Tonight I will tackle the downstairs patio.  I love that we have two patio areas.  I have created two different looks and functions so I can have the best of both worlds.  The upstairs one is for eating and cooking.  The downstairs has a workout bench and two Adirondack chairs with a matching table.  I am working on decorating the downstairs a little more, but when I am downstairs I can look out on my roses while relaxing with the hubby or kids with a good book and a yummy drink.  Hubby is an amazing bartender.  Did I mention that I love our house.  It is so peaceful and little by little we are creating our own space to come home to.

  My tip for you today.  Break your big tasks into small ones so they will not seem so overwhelming.  You will also be able to check things off your list, which is a huge deal for me.

  Hugs!!