Helicopter parenting at it's finest

 Yesterday, I was the helicopter parent, I mean helicopter step parent because good gravy we must get my title right, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Hubby and I sent youngest stepson off to Europe for 10 days with his high school. We met him at the airport and decided to stick around until he was safely up the escalators and through security. We hung out in the background visiting with other parents and not hovering too much unless it was needed. I normally am not a helicopter parent especially when I am in the role as step parent.  I try to stay in the background when his mom is around, but she was nowhere to be seen, so hover I did. I was sending my stepson overseas for 10 days! I wanted to make sure everything was covered.  I noticed he did not have a luggage tag on his backpack so hubby went over there to help him take care of it. We went over when Ms. Bonner was helping him check in. Hubby went up to the luggage check in to make sure he was not over the limit. We double checked with him to make sure he had his passport and Euro’s. We took pictures of all said events hugged him good bye and sent him up the escalator.  Could he have done all this stuff by himself? Sure. Do I trust the people he is going with to take care of him? Of course.  Am I going to apologize for my hovering? Not one little bit. Does he care that we were there? Probably not and I am sure he complained about it the whole time, but honestly that is not why I hovered yesterday. I hovered because I needed to for my piece of mind. I am not going to drop him off at the curb and say see ya in ten days! If that is your style, sleep well.  I would do this for any of my other kids and probably my hubby, cousins, friends and parents as well.  I will admit, stepson is not a good communicator when it comes to hubby. He tells him mom everything, but dad, not so much. When hubby and I were sitting on the front porch yesterday he downloaded the flight tracker so we could track stepson’s flight. We noticed that around 7:00 his flight still had not taken off even though it was supposed to leave at 5:18. Hubby texted stepson’s mom and she said of course she knew it was late, stepson had texted and told her. Sigh. Communication is so nice. Even if you think the other may know, it is better to get more information than none at all. At that point I went into “mom” mode. I contacted my sweet friend whose son is also on the same trip and asked her to communicate with me about the flight. Thankfully, she is awesome and let me know anything she heard and I did vice versa for her.  Her daughter just returned from Europe so she set me at ease with some other things as well. Thank goodness for friends! I am now in the know and feel much better for it. By the way, the flight tracking app is fabulous. We knew when he landed in Atlanta, when he flew over Ireland and when he landed in Paris. Awesome! So, I am excited to hear all about his trip when he returns in 10 days. I will be wondering, as I am now, what he is doing. Visiting the Eifel Tower? Eating his weight in Gelato? Making new friends?  So, if you need me, I will over here hovering from afar and not apologizing one little bit.

Hugs!

One more day

  It is only one more day until graduation. It seems like life is full of “one more days”. One more day until the baby comes, one more day until school starts, one more day until Christmas break, one more day until vacation, one more day until summer, one more day of winter, one more day until marriage, one more day with the person you love. Do we view these “one more days” as an ending or a new beginning? I would like to think this “one more day” is just the beginning. It is the beginning of a new adventure for my son.

 Oldest son has reached another milestone in his life. There have been so many: sleeping through the night, walking, starting preschool, starting kindergarten, first lost tooth, reaching the teen years, and driving are among the few. They have all brought their own unique challenges and joy, but the emotions remain the same. Happy because they are growing up, but sad because your baby is not a baby anymore. So as we prepare this summer to send oldest son off to college, be patient with me. I am so happy he has worked hard to be able to achieve this goal, but sad because my baby is leaving the nest.

 

Hugs!

Life advice for the graduate

  We are down to two more days until graduation for oldest son. He has had two days of graduation practice and survived. Remember graduation practice? Boring!!!  Today’s blog is dedicated to the things I would like my son to know about the future. Do I know it all? Absolutely not, but I have lived a little and feel I can share some words of wisdom with my son as he ventures out beyond the walls of high school.

1.  Get a college degree or some sort of skill. It does not matter if it is a bachelor’s degree, certification in something or an associate degree. Your opportunities will be greater for employment with these skills.

2.  Live within your means. You know how to budget. Keep that knowledge with you as your income grows larger. You want your money to be yours and not anyone else’s.

3.  Take advantage of travel opportunities. You have lived in 4 different states and have seen things beyond your four walls. Keep it up! Look into international study opportunities while you are in college. The world is amazing beyond the US, go explore!

4.  Keep your faith. “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13. Always put God in the center of your life.  You will be faced with tough situations in life. Remember what you have learned. It will make things easier. Prayer is a powerful thing.

5.  Find the joy in all things. Focus on the good in your life and not the bad. It is way too easy to stay down. Keep up your positive attitude.

6.  Dress for success. Take pride in your appearance. Keep your hair nice, your clothes pressed, and yourself clean. You will feel better about yourself if you take care of yourself.

7. Keep exercising. Do not get out of this habit. Eat well. Take care of your inside as well as your outside.

8. Give. Give your time, give your money, and give yourself. Life is not about handing you things.  Go out and do something for someone for absolutely nothing. Give someone some financial help without expecting anything in return. Volunteer for an organization you feel passionate about.

9.  Take time to smell the flowers. Do not get so busy in your life that it passes you by. Take time to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is okay to be lazy everyone once in a while.

10.  And saving the best for last, CALL YOUR MOM! Not every day, but every once in a while so she knows you are okay.

Hugs!

Thanks for the memories!

 Happy Tuesday! It is only 3 more days until oldest son graduates from high school. Sigh. Today’s blog will be dedicated to some of my favorite memories from oldest son’s high school career. There are so many, that honestly, it was hard to choose. I did find a recurring theme in my trip down memory lane and that is the first day of school photos and how I felt as each year was starting. We have a tradition that, we, like many others, always take a picture on the first day of school before they start off on their new adventure. So here are my memories:

Freshman year:  Wow! My baby is going to high school. Am I that old? Is he that old? Is he ready? Am I ready? He looks so handsome in his khaki shorts, knit polo and sperry’s. When did he grow up? Will he make friends? He was very excited to start his new high school and I was a nervous wreck. I drove him to school and I kissed him on the top of his head before he got out of the car. I was afraid I had made a social error in doing this, but he looked at me and told me it was fine. He still allows me to do this. Even in front of his friends.

Sophomore year:  Hubby and I were married at this point and youngest stepson was starting his freshman year at Catholic. It was awesome to see the older brother looking out for the younger one. They are both independent persons, but this year started out what was to be many times of laughter as they recounted their days at the dinner table regarding the shenanigans (as hubby says) at school. I will miss this next year. This was also the year oldest son was diagnosed with hypercalcemia/hypoparathyroidism. We spent many hours seeing at what turned out to be 7 different doctors and finally ended up at the UAMS cancer institute. This is the year I saw my son turn into a man. He had too many medical tests to count, too many blood draws and too many unanswered questions. He is known as “Patient X” at UAMS and the Mayo Clinic as they still do not have a confirmed diagnosis for him other that what was stated above. He wears this title proudly.  He is loved by all of his doctors and nurses and took all of it in stride. He hardly ever complained and did not let his mystery illness define who he was or affect him as a person. Even when we had to wait an awful 4 weeks for a cancer test to come back negative he kept a positive attitude. He will for the rest of his life go to twice a year doctor appointments at UAMS and have multiple tests ran every year, but as he always says to me, “I got this, mom”.

Junior year:  I was told this was the hardest year at Catholic. I was nervous about this year and what it would bring academically. He did amazing, by the way.  This was the year we started our college tours. I loved these trips. I remember our trip to Ole Miss and his first experience with a real college campus. He was overwhelmed and thrilled all at the same time. This was also the year that it hit me that he would be headed off to college soon. Yikes! Our biggest challenge of this year was curfew. I abided by city curfew and apparently I am the only one in Little Rock who “makes” their kid do this. I told him when he was 18; I did not care anymore as he was not breaking any laws, but until then, city curfew. Believe it or not, I stuck to it and he did survive.

Senior year:  This has been my favorite year. All the traditions I mentioned yesterday are worth the wait. Ring Mass started us off and it was amazing. I told Mr. Straessle afterwards, you better have something amazing planned for graduation because it is going to be hard to top this! This was also the year that everyone started hanging out at our house. It is rare to have a Friday or Saturday night alone at our house and I love it. Jake’s friends make me laugh and I love being a tiny part of this part of his life. We made the college decision, finally! This was very stressful. He was accepted to all 8 schools he applied for. In the end, he chose University of Arkansas. Once a Razorback, always a Razorback. I am just thankful that process is over.

 So, thanks for the memories, my son. I am excited to see what memories college will bring you over the next four years. I know I will not be a part of most of it and I am okay with that. You are an amazing son and I am so very proud of you!

Hugs!

10 Ten List of why I love Catholic High School

 It’s Monday. It is only four more days until oldest son graduates high school. To commemorate this occasion, I am going to dedicate the next four days of posts to that particular event. In a nod to David Letterman I am creating a top 10 list of why I love Catholic High School, the school my son will graduate from.

10. Uniform-My boy knows how to dress up. Whether it is business casual or suiting up, he has got this down.

9.  Regulation haircut-no shaggy hair in the eyes or greasy, unwashed ponytails. Clean cut is the way.

8.  Homework-my son knows how to time manage. Because he was given homework on a regular basis and he worked after school, he knows how to juggle multiple tasks at hand.

7.  Mass- I love that he got to attend mass with all his friends. I appreciate religion not being crammed down their throats, but rather something to explore.

6.  Traditions- From the first assembly as a freshman to Senior Ring Mass, Catholic High is full of traditions. The boys know what to expect as they get older and looked forward to it.

5.  Teachers- Catholic has teachers who have been there for years and some freshly out of college. Now, I do have my favorites and there is a couple who I would love to see the backside of, but those are rare.

4.  No girls. They are way too much of a distraction. I know because I am one.

3.  Cyber days- This was a brilliant invention.  No snow days to make up.

2.  Senior Tie- This one item separates the men from the boys. It is a badge of honor.

1.  And my number one favorite thing about Catholic High School is the principal, Mr. Steve Straessle.  You will not find a principal who loves their school more than Mr. Straessle. He honors the traditions of what makes Catholic High great and enjoys doing so. He is a champion for my son.  He was a key person in Jake’s high school career not only as a principal but as a teacher.

So as the alma mater says:  

Proudly we speak your name,
Proudly wear your colors.
Friendships made within your walls
Will mellow through the years.
We, in some distant day, may brush away a tear,
Born of memories as these we hold so very dear.

Thank you, Catholic High and go Rockets!

Hugs!

Minute by Minute

 Go hug someone. Text your loved ones. Tell everyone good night and I love you before you go to bed. We never know when will be the last time for us or for those we center our lives around. Last night, I attended the memorial service of my best friend’s (really my sister) husband. Yes, I said memorial service of my best friend’s husband. He was only 35. He passed away in their home in bed of a coronary attack. She found him cold lying in bed. I cannot even imagine. Even though I have heard the story a few times now, I still cannot wrap my head around what happened. My sweet sister is hurting so much right now. Words are not enough. What do you say? I’m sorry only goes so far. Hugs, hand holding and tears are the only things I know to do right now. I was in awe of her last night as she stood at the front and greeted all those people. I don’t know how she held it together. I appreciate everyone who came out last night to express their condolences and offered their words of advice and hugs. One gentleman said to take it one day at a time. And he said when that gets too much, take one minute at a time. Sometimes life gets so hard that that is exactly what you need to do. I can say that life has gotten rough a few times for me, but nothing like what  my sweet sister is going through. I cannot even imagine life without my Mark. So here is to my sweet sister, by choice and not by birth. I love you so very much and you can get through this. Minute by minute.

 

Hugs

My son

 Two more days of exams, senior picnic, senior pool party, senior bbq, senior yearbook signing, senior clean up, senior luncheon, senior party, graduation practice, graduation, after graduation party and then two more graduation parties after that. I swear my son needs a social secretary to help him keep up with the next ten days.  Just reading that makes my head spin. I am so very excited for him. It has not hit either one of us that his high school career is just about over. I am so very proud of him I could burst! He made it through high school with grace and without too much complaining. I am excited for him to start his new phase in life. It’s hard feeling two emotions equally. Joy, because he has been given this amazing opportunity to go away to college, but sad, because I will miss him. Not just as a person but also the things he does for our family without hesitation. Picking up sister from practice, running out for dinner, getting last minute groceries, taking the trash out, cleaning up, mowing the lawn, the list goes on and on. His absence will leave an impact on our lives for sure. But, wow! College. Off on his own to discover whom he is without the family as a safety net. Not that he has used us too much. He is pretty independent and for that I have no hesitation sending him off on his own. So I say this morning, Congratulations Son! You have made me proud. I love you so very much and am awed at the man you have grown into.

 

Hugs!